The other day, while swimming in the pool (read: torturing each other with water guns) with my 4-and-a-half-year-old nephew, Max, he started to inquire about my love life:
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| It's all fun and games until he asks about my marital status. |
"Auntie, why don't you have a husband?"
"Because I'm too young for a husband," I told him.
"That's not true. I'm 4 and I have two girlfriends. You don't even have one boyfriend, right?"
.... Nope.
He then told me he was going to help me find a husband.
Apparently, according to him, I am plenty old enough to "find a nice man at temple and get married," (his words, not mine) and I need to get movin'. I've made it through the last 24 years without an overbearing Jewish Mother or Grandmother pushing this agenda on me, but apparently, my pre-school aged nephew has other plans for my future.
This, from a guy who sleeps with a night-light thinks fart jokes are the funniest thing on the planet.
It must be said that Max will not be giving me up easily to whatever nice Jewish man he finds for me at next Friday's Shabbat services. He's been my Valentine for the last 4 years (pre-school girlfriends come and go, #Aunties are forever) and has made me promise that he gets to be the one to step on the glass at my wedding. He also calls me, often, to tell me how beautiful and amazing I am, (which is more than I can say for any of the boyfriends I've ever had) and moved in with me for five whole days during my most recent trip to California (which is the biggest commitment I've made to a boy... ever).
So, to my potential suitors: be ready to seek approval from a very opinionated little boy. Non-Jews need not apply.
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